12 Long Distance Relationship Rules That Will Keep Your Love Strong and Thriving

12 Long Distance Relationship Rules
  • 12:52 min

  • Amanda Collins

Long distance relationships can feel tough, but they don’t have to be impossible.

Many couples stay connected by following strategies that keep their love strong.

A young couple smiling and talking to each other on video calls from their separate homes.

With the right approach, you can build trust, maintain intimacy, and create meaningful experiences even when you’re apart.

Simple steps like regular video calls and sending surprise care packages help you stay close.

Small daily habits and honest conversations can make the distance easier to handle.

1) Set regular video call times

A young couple in separate rooms smiling and engaged in a video call on their computers.

When you set a regular video call schedule, you stay connected with your partner.

Knowing when to expect these calls gives you both something to look forward to.

Pick specific days and times that work for both of you.

Maybe you video chat every Tuesday at 8 PM or Sunday mornings at 10 AM.

Consistency is key.

Consider your time zones when planning these calls.

If you live in different zones, find times when you’re both awake and free.

Put these video dates in your calendar as important appointments.

This shows your partner they matter to you.

During busy weeks, adjust your schedule if needed.

Just let your partner know about changes ahead of time.

Regular video calls give your relationship stability.

You’ll have dedicated time to talk about your day and see each other’s faces.

These scheduled calls work better than random video chats.

You can plan your conversations and give each other your full attention.

2) Send surprise care packages

A young couple happily exchanging surprise care packages during a video call, each opening gifts in their cozy home settings.

A surprise package at your partner’s door says “I’m thinking of you.”

Care packages create excitement and show you care.

Include their favorite snacks, small gifts, or items that remind them of you.

A handwritten letter makes the package extra special.

You don’t need to spend much.

Homemade cookies, favorite tea, or cozy socks work well.

Choose things that show you know what they love.

Send packages at random times, not just on holidays.

A surprise on a regular day brings unexpected joy.

Consider seasonal items too.

Send hot chocolate in winter or sunscreen in summer.

These gifts show you think about their daily life.

Track the package and share in their excitement when it arrives.

Ask them to open it during a video call so you can see their reaction.

3) Create shared playlists

Two people in separate rooms smiling and creating shared music playlists during a video call.

Music connects people, even from a distance.

When you create shared playlists, you feel connected throughout your day.

Pick a music streaming service you both use.

Spotify, Apple Music, and YouTube Music let you make playlists together.

Add songs that remind you of your partner or your relationship.

Include tracks from your first date, favorite songs, or new music you discover.

Take turns adding songs each week.

This keeps the playlist fresh and gives you both something new to enjoy.

Listen to your shared playlist when you miss each other.

It’s like having a piece of your partner with you.

Make themed playlists for different moods, like “Sunday Morning” or “Road Trip Dreams.”

This gives you more ways to connect through music.

Comment on each other’s song choices in the app.

Leaving notes adds a personal touch to your playlist.

4) Plan virtual movie nights

Two people in different rooms watching the same movie on their laptops, each with headphones and popcorn, creating a cozy virtual movie night experience.

Movie nights help you share experiences even when you’re apart.

You can watch the same film at the same time.

Pick a streaming service you both have.

Netflix, Disney+, and Amazon Prime work well.

Check that you both have good internet connections.

Use apps like Teleparty or Scener to sync your viewing.

These tools let you watch together and chat in real time.

Set up a video call on your phone or a second screen.

This way you see each other’s reactions during the movie.

Choose movies you both enjoy.

Take turns picking what to watch.

Try new genres or revisit old favorites.

Prepare the same snacks to make it feel special.

Pop popcorn or order similar takeout.

Having the same treats makes it feel like you’re together.

Schedule movie nights regularly.

Pick a day each week that works for both of you.

Consistency helps you look forward to your virtual dates.

5) Keep a shared journal app

A young couple in separate cozy rooms using smartphones to share a journal app, connected by a glowing digital line between their devices.

A shared journal app lets you and your partner write to each other every day.

You can share thoughts, feelings, and daily updates in one place.

Think of it like passing notes, but using your phones or computers.

Apps like Relish, Lasting, or simple note-sharing apps work well.

Write about your day, share photos, or leave sweet messages for each other.

This creates a special space just for the two of you.

Your partner can read your entries when they have time, even if you’re in different time zones.

You’re building a digital scrapbook of your relationship.

Years later, you can look back and read these moments.

Try writing in it at least once a week.

Don’t worry about making it perfect—just share what’s on your mind.

6) Trust each other fully

A young couple smiling at their laptops in separate cozy rooms, connecting through video call.

Trust forms the foundation of every strong long distance relationship.

Without trust, doubt and worry can grow.

Believe your partner when they tell you about their day.

Don’t question every detail or assume they’re hiding something.

Give them the benefit of the doubt when plans change.

Sometimes life gets busy, and that’s okay.

Stop checking their social media constantly.

This only increases stress and insecurity.

When you feel jealous, talk about it openly.

Share your feelings instead of keeping them inside.

Be honest about your own activities and feelings.

Tell the truth, even when it’s hard.

Remember, your partner chose to be with you despite the distance.

Building trust takes time and small daily actions.

If trust gets broken, you can rebuild it with open communication and patience.

Both of you need to work together to heal.

7) Celebrate small milestones

A young couple smiling and celebrating together while video calling each other from their separate homes.

Small wins matter in long distance relationships.

Did you finally sync your schedules for a weekly date night? Celebrate it!

Mark special moments like your first video call anniversary or the day you became official.

These little victories keep your bond strong.

Plan mini celebrations for relationship goals.

Maybe you survived your first month apart or booked your next visit.

Order each other’s favorite takeout and eat together over video chat.

Create your own special dates to remember.

Celebrate the day you sent your first care package or watched your first movie online together.

Keep a shared calendar of these milestones.

You’ll see how many sweet moments you collect.

Even simple things like remembering a big work presentation deserve recognition.

Send a quick “congrats” or a funny meme to show you care.

These small celebrations build positive memories and give you both something to look forward to.

8) Discuss future visits openly

A young couple smiling at each other during a video call on a laptop in a cozy living room.

Planning your next visit gives you both something to look forward to.

Don’t keep these conversations vague.

Talk about specific dates when you might see each other again.

Even if you don’t know the exact dates, discussing possible windows helps you both prepare.

Be honest about your budget limitations.

Flights and travel costs can add up, so talk about what each person can afford.

Take turns visiting each other if you can.

This makes travel fair and lets you experience each other’s daily life.

Decide what holidays or events you want to spend together.

Mark these dates early so you can plan ahead.

Discuss how long each visit will last.

A weekend trip feels different than a two-week stay, so set clear expectations.

If visa requirements or travel restrictions affect your plans, research them together.

Some countries have complex rules, so give yourself time.

Keep backup plans ready.

Flight prices and work schedules can change.

Having flexible options reduces stress when plans shift.

9) Avoid constant texting expectations

A young woman and a young man in separate locations each looking at their phones calmly and smiling gently.

Do you feel like you need to text your partner every five minutes? This habit can actually hurt your relationship more than help it.

Constant texting puts pressure on both of you. If you expect immediate replies, you might feel ignored when your partner takes time to respond.

Your partner also goes to work, spends time with friends, and handles daily tasks. They can’t always answer right away.

Set healthy texting boundaries so you both feel more relaxed. You don’t need to share every small detail of your day through messages.

Try scheduling specific times to talk instead of texting constantly. This gives you both something to look forward to and makes your conversations more meaningful.

Quality matters more than quantity in communication. One thoughtful message means more than many quick texts that say nothing important.

Trust that your partner cares about you even when they’re not texting back immediately. You don’t need to check in constantly to prove your connection.

10) Use countdown apps together

A young couple sitting apart in a living room, each holding a smartphone and smiling while using countdown apps to stay connected.

Countdown apps can make waiting for your next visit more exciting. Download the same app as your partner to track the days until you meet again.

These apps turn waiting into something fun to share. You can add photos, write notes, and customize your countdown together.

Popular apps like Countdown Widget and Days Until offer features for couples. Some let you share countdowns directly with your partner.

Try setting up multiple countdowns for different events. You might count down to your next video call, a special holiday, or your reunion date.

A visual reminder helps you both stay focused on your future together. Instead of feeling stuck apart, you move toward something good.

Make it a ritual to check your countdown together during calls. Celebrate each milestone as you get closer to zero.

Some couples create countdowns for small things too. Maybe you count down to a movie night or when you’ll open a care package together.

Use these apps as a team. When you both engage with the countdown, it becomes another way to stay connected despite the distance.

11) Have honest check-in talks

A young woman and a man having a warm and attentive video call on a laptop in a cozy room.

Regular check-ins keep your relationship healthy and strong. Talk openly about how you’re both feeling about the distance.

Set up weekly or monthly times to have these deeper conversations. Go beyond daily updates and discuss your relationship itself.

Ask each other important questions. How are you handling the distance? What’s working well? What feels hard right now?

Be honest about your struggles. If you feel lonely or worried, share those feelings so your partner can support you.

These talks help you catch problems early. Small issues can grow if you don’t address them quickly.

Make sure both of you get to speak. Take turns sharing your thoughts and really listen to each other.

Stay calm during these conversations. Focus on understanding each other, not arguing or blaming.

End each check-in with something positive. Talk about what you’re looking forward to or what you love about your relationship.

12) Share daily highlights

A young couple video calling each other from separate rooms, smiling and connecting through their smartphones.

What made you smile today? Sharing daily highlights helps you stay connected to your partner’s everyday life.

Pick one or two good things from your day to share. Maybe you saw a cute dog on your walk or your coworker told a funny joke.

Your partner wants to know about the little things that make you happy. This helps them feel like they’re part of your daily routine.

Try sharing highlights at the same time each day. Some couples do this over morning coffee, while others prefer texting before bed.

Don’t worry if some days feel boring. Even small things like trying a new snack or hearing your favorite song can be highlights.

This habit takes just a few minutes but makes a big difference. You’ll start noticing more good things in your day when you know you’ll share them later.

The Science Behind Long Distance Relationships

Two people in separate rooms communicating warmly through their devices, symbolizing a long distance relationship.

Researchers have found that distance changes how couples connect emotionally and communicate. Studies show both positive and negative effects on relationship satisfaction when partners live apart.

Emotional Impact of Distance

Distance brings unique emotional challenges that affect your brain chemistry. When you’re separated from your partner, your body produces less oxytocin, the bonding hormone that makes you feel close.

Stress Response Changes

You often feel more stressed when you can’t physically comfort each other. During conflicts, your cortisol levels spike because you can’t use touch to reconnect quickly.

Attachment Patterns Shift

Researchers have found that anxious attachment styles become more intense in long distance relationships. You might worry more about your partner’s feelings or fear abandonment.

Idealization Effects

Distance can make you see your partner through rose-colored glasses. You focus on positive memories and forget minor flaws. Your brain fills gaps with idealized thoughts.

Emotional Intensity Increases

Many couples feel stronger emotions during video calls or visits. Your brain treats reunion moments as special events, releasing more dopamine than usual.

Benefits and Challenges of Virtual Communication

Technology changes how you connect and brings both opportunities and obstacles for relationship growth.

Digital Communication Advantages

Text messages let you think before you respond, which can reduce impulsive arguments. Video calls help you read facial expressions and body language better than phone calls.

Screen Fatigue Issues

Long video calls can drain your energy faster than in-person conversations. Your brain works harder to process digital facial expressions and audio delays.

Misunderstanding Risks

Without physical presence, you miss many of the communication cues that come from body language. Sarcasm and jokes often get lost in text messages.

Connection Quality Varies

Poor internet connections interrupt emotional moments and create frustration. Technical problems during important conversations can damage intimacy.

Strengthening Connection Through Communication

A young woman smiling at her smartphone screen while video chatting with a young man, both appearing happy and connected.

Good communication builds trust and keeps you close even when you’re far apart. Setting clear boundaries while staying open helps you share what matters most.

Making time for regular talks shows your partner they’re a priority.

Balancing Openness and Boundaries

Being honest with your partner doesn’t mean sharing every thought or feeling. Find the right balance between being open and keeping some things private.

Share the important stuff first. Tell your partner about your day, your worries, and your dreams.

You don’t need to report every conversation you had or every place you went.

What to share openly:

  • Your feelings about the relationship
  • Daily highlights and challenges
  • Future plans and goals
  • Times when you’re struggling

What can stay private:

  • Minor daily annoyances
  • Every social interaction
  • Personal processing time
  • Some friendships and activities

Setting boundaries helps prevent information overload. Too much sharing can make your partner feel overwhelmed or jealous.

Too little sharing creates distance and doubt.

Ask yourself: “Will sharing this help our relationship?” If yes, share it. If it’s just filling silence, you might skip it.

Remember that boundaries can change over time. What feels comfortable to share now might be different in six months.

Scheduling Quality Time Despite Distance

You need to plan ahead to make time for each other when you’re far apart. Different time zones and busy schedules can make this harder, but regular quality time keeps your bond strong.

Pick specific times that work for both of you:

  • Have morning coffee calls before work.
  • Set up lunch break video chats.
  • Enjoy evening wind-down conversations.
  • Plan weekend movie nights online.

Block out relationship time using calendar apps. Treat these appointments like important meetings you can’t miss.

Focus on quality over quantity. A 30-minute conversation where you both pay attention is better than hours of distracted texting.

Ideas for quality time:

  • Watch movies together online.
  • Play games through apps.
  • Read the same book.
  • Take virtual tours of museums.
  • Cook the same meal while video chatting.

Stay flexible when plans change. If you miss a call, reschedule quickly and follow through with the new plan.

Turn off distractions during your scheduled time. Put phones on silent and close other apps so you can focus on each other.

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